All those who can sympathize

Please see thisMy wife’s brain surgery

Thank you in advance

Hi guitars69:
What a story you have … Is the worst of this over now? Is recovery taking hold? You know, things have a way of working out for the best… Life’s roads can seem pretty bumpy at times… And positive thinking is a struggle, at times…

Bill…

Very sorry to read your story, but it’s great that your wife is recovering. And that is far more important than money. My prayers go to you both.

But just a small touch of doubt has invaded my nasty mind. :(

On your Fasoft profile, your Home Page actually links to an Internet con site. And a whiles back you were trying to persuade us all to sign up for “free computers” just so that you could benefit from the whole deal.

I’m sure that my doubts are false and your story is real and so you will be in my prayers tonight.

But I can’t help wondering.

After some further investigation:

Your email that you give on Craigslist is not your own personal email address. It’s just a temporary convenient one. And as I said earlier, your 'home page" given here on Fasoft is an Internet scam site.

And your posting on Craigslist has been flagged repeatedly with SCAMMER flags.

Why is this leaving a nasty taste in my mouth? :(

Huh - the post was removed by the Craig list community.

What is Craigslist?

Craigslist is a free community based service. It hosts websites for many cities and acts as a central coordinating network not only on the Internet, but for community events too.

On the Internet, people post with things as varied as LOST DOG and local events, charity walks, etc.

Unfortunately the web sites are much abused by scammers and spammers.

If guitars69 post requesting monetary donations for his wife’s medical expenses was found to be a scam or a spam it would’ve been deleted.

Ah. Well, I hope all things are well, G69.

Square Rib, I appreciate your “detective” skills and concern… however, I’ve been a member of this forum for a number of years now and have proven myself at least to some.

BTW The computer deal is legitimate. My brother-in-law did the iPod version and guess what… now owns an iPod. Half of the stuff could be cancelled immediately and he got his completely for free. Yes it would have benefitted me, but had you done it, you could have had one too. It isn’t a scam. If you check Harmony-central there’s a topic about a similar “scam” that results in a gibson SG. You know what… the guy who did it figured out how to do it for the least amount of actual money and got a brand new Gibson SG Standard for like $200.

Anyways…
I used an anonymous e-mail through craigslist because I didn’t really want a bunch of non-believing people who might be interested in telling me off have my actual e-mail address. Yes, craigslist pulled the ad because people reported it. I am however going to repost it as the e-mail they sent me says I can do if I believe it was wrongly removed.

As for my wife, she’s doing well. The pain catches up with her now and then. We’re gonna’ try quarter her doses of dilauded and giving it to her once an hour rather than 4mg every four hours. Maybe that will keep the pain from coming back near the 4 hour mark. She’s been throwing up a bit too. Hasn’t really eaten much because of that. We’ve got a couple of weeks before she’ll be well enough to head back to work and thankfully one of her aunt’s donated some vacation time to her to cover it since she only has about 2 weeks worth right now. (they both work for Legacy Health Systems)

I’m at work now and am not really supposed to be on here, so I will chat more later.

Joel

In that case, I must accept your word.

In your post on Craigslist you said that the insurance would cover most of the bill, but paying the rest would leave things ‘a bit tight’.

A ‘bit tight’ is how most of us found the early stages of married life. And for some of us, a bit tight, is how life continues.

But are you aware that hospital bills are negotiable? It’s not a well publicized fact, but it’s true all the same.

And are you also aware that most hospitals will accept voluntary service to help pay the bill?

Portering, cleaning etc. I myself work 3 evenings a week plus 6 hours Sundays in a hospital laundry to help pay off my new hip.

So there are ways to solve the problem by your own efforts other than begging people to send you money.

Let us know when the post is back on the craiglist thing, G69. I don’t know what I would do if I had to deal with something that serious. S’pose I will find out, eventually, what with aging and all that.

not sure I’m gonna’ bother reposting it now. I don’t necessarily like begging, I just figured since I’m the kinda’ guy who goes and buys some homeless guy and his dog some food and water that maybe someone would be that kind of person to me.

a “bit tight” was my attempt at being modest. Things have been more than a bit tight for my whole 7 years of marriage. “We” got pregnant before we got married and have therefore had a kid around the whole time. I’ve also gone to college and am trying to get my wife through now. My current budget varies a lot because of random large bills like car repairs or dental bills or whatever, but basically I brake even most months. Others I’m catching up for months that didn’t go well. If this bill is gonna’ cost me $100 a month, it’s gonna’ hurt a little. However, it was an 8.5 brain surgery with reconstruction of 1/4 of her face. Both surgeons are excellent surgeons… and are paid accordingly. I honestly don’t know how much its going to cost yet but I would be pretty surprised if its less than 10K after insurance.

Normally I can’t work a second job because my wife is attending school in the evenings and weekends while working full time. Which means I have to watch my son. If I hired a baby sitter, whatever money I made from the second job would be cut in half if not negated completely. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to try and earn some extra income. I record bands occasionally and do some graphic work but those are pretty rare.

Anyways, I feel like you’re implying I’m too lazy to figure all this out, but I’m working on other ways as well. I was just hoping to someone who wishes to help others like me who might actually be in a better position than I at the moment.

I’m just gonna’ shut up now.

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Anyways, I feel like you’re implying I’m too lazy to figure all this out


No, not implying that at all, but what I suppose I’m trying to say…

GT9, this is free advice, and therefore it’s worth exactly what you pay for it…

Yes, helping people is good and it makes one feel good. And there are times when we really need help, and if someone provides that help then we survive, otherwise we don’t.

But depending on others for help is a two edged sword.

This is a tough old world, and “a little help from my friends” makes it easier, but, what when there is no friends and no help?

Then you rely on yourself. There is no alternative, you sort it out yourself, or you go under.

And whether you are able to sort it out yourself or not depends on how resourceful you are, how used to sorting things out on your own you are, and how strong you are.

And you won’t learn any of those things if you ask for help when things just get ‘a bit tight’.

I’m not speaking from some idealogical standpoint, some abstract POV, but from real personal experience.

But there will come a time when one can only survive with the help of others, and after that, there’ll come a time when no help will help at all.

Do you really believe you’ve reached the first of those stages?

It seems you’ve been through a very tough time. Not just the operation, but the worries and the stress involved in that for all of you, and I really do feel for you both in that.

But don’t give up until you have to. Don’t go asking strangers for help until you have to. Don’t accept failure as a man until you’ve really failed.

Because if you do, you’ll be weaker. And your family will be weaker and poorer without your strength to support them.

Anyway, as I said, free advice which is worth exactly what you paid for it. :)

Post it again, g69.

Hey G69,

I can’t help but be sorrowful empathatic to your plight, been there, who am I kiding, still there.
If not for my faith in the Lord I prolly would have thrown in the towel years ago.
Anyway, it an uncommon knowledge that medical bills can’t be held against your credit.
When A lender see’s a large amount in deliquency they ask you what it is.
When you tell them it’s a medical bill they can’t refuse the loan on that basis.

Anywho long story short,the trend seems to be buying a house to solve your financial problems.
As long as you have a steady job, and 1/2 decent credit morgage comapnies are competing right now for your biz, ya did say you had a job right?
And here’s what my brother inlaw did in a very simular situation.
He bought a house, no money down AMOF, and put all his other depts into the home loan.
He came out with perfect credit, a house, and well he is married to my sister, but he swears it’s happily ever after! :p

Just throught I throw an option out there that may help.

If you already own a home there’s always the second morgage gig, which seems to be prime right now as well.

keep shinin’

jerm :cool:

last time I checked my credit was a 715 or so, so it’s good. We’ve looked into houses, unfortunately where I live they are not cheap. Unless you want an old crack house you need to have at least 200K. My job is technically a temporary position right now and I’ve only been here a couple of months so that doesn’t look good for home loans (took this job for a little more pay and “experience” since I’m studying to be a network engineer). On top of that, I REALLY can’t afford a house payment higher than my rent which is at $680 which means I could get a really crappy house that needs a lot of work. The area I live in is also even more expensive than the surrounding areas but I would prefer to leave my son in the same school as I have moved around 9 times now and it’s getting a little hard on my boy. Most houses next to my apartment are a minimum 350K. I would LOVE to buy a house and dump my credit card debt into the payment but I don’t think I could get 20K added onto the house loan for that. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

Anyways, I appreciate all the feedback. I think I’m just gonna’ ride out the storm. I’m going to call the hospital this week and discuss my bill and payment plan etc.

now my wife has to have surgery again this Tuesday. The surgeon decided in order to reduce her risk of having the tumor regrow that he needs to remove the dura around that portion of the brain and replace it with a graft. This surgery should only be a couple of hours and she’ll hopefully be hom in a day or two.

…yay…

some good news. apparently our insurance has only a $1000 dollar out of pocket maximum a year so my wife, already having earned $500 should conceivably only have to pay $500 for her surgeries. So we’re not screwed after all :)

Thanks for the help all.

That is good news G69. I will continue to pray for your wife and family.

Mike