New one from Redd and Ike.
This is a new one from Redd and Ike. Check out “Dear Lord” at http://redd.interclusive.com and let us know what you think. Any input will be appreciated.
http://redd.interclusive.com
WARNING: ALTHOUGH “DEAR LORD” ITSSELF CONTAINS NO PROFANITY, OTHER SONGS ON THE SITE CONTAIN EXPLICIT LYRICS.
Redd–
I think this is your best yet. Funny, I somehow felt I could make that statement without listening to all of your other stuff (I heard about two), but I thought, “Well, to be honest I have to listen to the ones I missed.” It didn’t change my mind. There’s more energy in your delivery, and combined with the subject matter, you’ve got something that draws the listener in. Some might take it as blasphemy, others will recognize it as similar to Job’s conversation with God. In fact, I was so focused on the lyrics that I didn’t pay much attention to the mix! 
(BTW, thanks for the “Explicit Lyrics” warnings you always give.)
The mix: First, I only have headphones right now, so keep that in mind. The bass was just a tad heavy to my ears (remember the headphones disclaimer). Also, the string sound that comes in during the chorus seemed to have a slightly slow attack that made it lag a little behind the beat (intentional?). On the plus side, the reverb seems just right to me. I don’t know why it stood out…maybe because of the simple arrangement?
Anyway, keep laying it on the line, honing your skills–your hard work is paying off!
Tony
Thanks alot, Scantee. I’m still learning alot about myself, such as my voice and ways to emphasize certain things with my words, so I really appreciate any feedback. I wasn’t completely happy with this one after listening back to it, but I guess that’s just part of learning yourself. We used a little different setup in recording this one, and we’re still working everything out. As for the string in the chorus, I intentionally made it lag behind the beat, just playing with different sounds. I’m really glad that you were so focused on the lyrics. In most of the things I write, I want to draw people in with the lyrics. I hope someone can relate to and “feel” my lyrics. I wrote this one at a time in my life when I was losing something that was very important to me; my faith in God, so it can be related to Job. Thanks for noticing that. Many thanks…Redd
I loved this track. Especially the lyrics, they really said something.
The only technical observation I’ll make is that you sound like you’re running out of breath in one or two places (e.g. 3m20s), but it does add a certain ‘desperation’ to the message. So it works.
Your voice breaks a bit at 3m45s
Overall, nice job!
J.
Thanks alot, JHonan. I have to learn not eat right before I record. Makes me run outta breath faster…LOL. Thanks again. Redd
Hmmm, I liked this and I dont even care for rap. Like Scantee the lyrics drew me in. The Synths came in and added a quiet desperation and sorta eerie feel. I was raised christian but am an agnostic. Only critique would be too heavy on the bass. Well done!
~airdvl~
Thanks, airdvl; The bass drop is a little too heavy. I do my own beats. Problem is, I only have the regular speakers that came with my computer, so you cant tell how heavy the bass is on those speakers. I didn’t notice it until after it was recorded and played back on a stereo. Thanks again. …Redd
Decent track. I’ll echo on the bass, but you’re dealing with that, so it’s no biggie.
I’m an old blues/rocker type, so my taste on this stuff is suspect. But I’d like to hear some ‘build’, musically. Dynamics are your friend here…as you build in the arrangment, the build lends itself to the lyrics. With spoken word pieces, you lose the advantage of having a melody guide the listener for you…a melody that rises tends to give a certain “strength” to the lyrics. So you could consider doing a similar thing with the backing tracks toward the end of the song. Maybe add parts that are an octave above previous verses or choruses (chorusi? 
)
I love your lyrics. Love them. Like your delivery a lot, too. Your personal investment in the lyrics comes through clearly. Now…start to look at it from a compositional standpoint and see how you can help the music guide the listener to where you want them to go.
My ducat’s worth, anyway. Good job.
TK
Thanks, teledork. I do need to practice making my beats more often, in order to improve on them. I wasn’t sure exactly what to work on, but your advice helps alot. Thanks again. Redd
He sounds like Eminem! 
Nice, man
Eyup!
As a person who thinks they left the “C” out of RAP I loved this!
If all rap was like this I would most certainly be a fan.
Tip 'o the hat to you redd, it’s a great song because it comes from the heart and it shows.
Any criticism of the mix from me would be nit-picking in the extreme. It stands on it’s own.
Super stuff!
Steve