Do you have a funny political joke?

Just to lighten things up…

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

:)

What do you call 10 republicans standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

KF

What do you call 10 Republicans and 10 Democrats standing in a line?

>
>
>

I know what I’d call 'em IF no kids were present…

D

A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke.

The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Alabama,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?”

The guy says, “Nah.”

To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?”

The guy says, "Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times."

KingFish :p

What did Jesus tell the democrats?

Don’t do nothing until I get back.

What did Flavio tell George Bush after he invaded Iraq?

You Asio-hole those a …were a… WDMs not a …WMDs!!!

(insert drumroll here)

Ugh… That was really bad.

LOL :D :p

What do Americans get for electing Bush and Dick?

An 8 year screw job.

Okay I’ll stop now

(insert drumroll here)

How many George W. Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?




None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it’s condition is improving every day. Any reports of it’s lack of incandescence are totally unfounded, and the result of delusional “spin” assaults from the fanatic, elitist, liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect and dims it’s ego.

Why do you hate freedom?

<!–QuoteBegin>

Quote
Why do you hate freedom?


Ha ha ha ha …

You can also deliver it as “Why are you helping the terrorists?!”

Quote (KingFish @ April 24 2006,23:41)
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke.

The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's from Alabama,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?"

The guy says, "Nah."

To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are ya chicken?"

The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."

KingFish :p

I'm 6'-5" and 240 pounds and have lived in Alabama all my life.

I don't get it... :D :D :D

D

Things that Bill Gates would change if he was from Alabama:

1. They would be called “Winders95, WindersNT, and Winders 3.1”.

2. Instead of the hour glass wait icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle.

3. Occasionally you’d open a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and duct tape.

4. Dialog boxes that give you the choice of “Yes, No, or Cancel” would now read “Ahh-right, Naw, or Git”.

5. Instead of the “Ta-da” sound when opening Winders, you would now hear the “Dueling Banjos”.

6. The “Recycle Bin” in Winders95 would now be called “Out-House”.

7. When you open the sound player, you would hear a digitized drunk yelling “Freebird”.

8. Powerpoint would now be known as “Parpawnt”.

9. Microsoft’s programming tolls would be “Vishul Basic” and “Vishul C++”.

10. The Winders95 logo would be the Confederate Flag.

11. Instead of the title “VP”, Microsoft big shots will be called “Cuz”.

12. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am or a Chevy truck.

13. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.

14. “Well, next thing ya know ol’ Bill’s a billionaire…”

15. Flight Simulator game would be replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator.

16. Microsoft’s CEO: Bubba Gates.

I’m 5’ 4" and weigh 164. I’ve been to Alabama…I’m still trying to figure out how the bar can have three ends. :)

Quotes from our esteemed leader - George Bush

“The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”
“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”
“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
“The future will be better tomorrow.”
“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”
“I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”
“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”
“Public speaking is very easy.”
“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”
“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”
“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”

Quote (phoo @ April 25 2006,02:03)
I'm 5' 4" and weigh 164. I've been to Alabama....I'm still trying to figure out how the bar can have three ends. :)

Ok Phoo..............

1 on each end and the bartender in the middle.

Keep up! :)

KF

Give me time…I’m getting there…I’m getting there…

Quote (phoo @ April 25 2006,05:56)
Give me time...I'm getting there....I'm getting there....

I have to mention.......

You have the coolest Avatar.......

It always cracks me up!


KingFish