They Just Dont Understand
Please raise your hand to answer yes to any of these questions: Do you hear songs/music in your head in the twilight between wakefulness and sleeping? If you walk on gravel do you hear a drum pattern from the crunch sounds? Does the doppler effect of cars passing create chord patterens in your head? Can you listen to others music and know exactly where thier hands are on the neck/keyboard and what they are doing? Can you spend hours with your main instrument doing variations, scales, building from a single chord? When in a social setting and the people are boring, do you play guitar/keys, write a song in your head instead of listening to the conversation? If yes to any, please keep reading.
Nye under 49 years on this good earth, and I just realized my family and most of my friends really dont understand/know me, and never will. My wife of 25 years almost does. She knew coming in: guitar#1, the dog#2, then her.
At a big holiday gathering I got to hear over & over what a wonderful HOBBY I have. This from my family and friends, most of 20+ years. My best friend got it…he leaned over and asked, “They just dont get it do they?” No they dont get that the songs are my children. Or that many times it is not about the finished song, but more about the creation process.Even my parents, God bless them, dont get it.
THEY DONT GET THAT:
Writing music, playing an instrument, is not a hobby. It is who we are, it is WHAT WE DO! It defines us as much if not more as the titles of father/mother, sister/brother, husband/wife, ect; does if not more. To stop would be the same as amputating a limb. This is not like going boating or snowmobiling. We dont put this away for a season. We dont turn this off.
I smiled and nodded. Replied with words of agreement. Not mad, not surprised, not even dissappointed. Eyes finally opened that they dont understand and never will.
Duff
Forgot…Yeah my wife pretty much gets it. When in the car together and I’m drive we can no longer listen to ANY music because I, “Tune her out and dont pay attention to my driving.” The other day she told me to, “Get your head out of your ass and quit pickin that song apart.” Then she turn off the radio.
Copius quantities of Cognac have made this all rather humorus…
TTFN
Heheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I’ve heard this from countless writers and music folk. Rarely have I seen it in writing though. Well put Duff. Yes I think we’re runnin’ in the same herd. You will never get what you want from folks - just deal with it best you can. Especially your wife - she’s most likely like most women and their main concern is security; she can’t encourage this in you out of fear of what might happen. Most women walk a fine line in this area. Not to worry though, Love conquers all.
I have a unique twist on this “state” also. I have a syndrome or whatever where my mind grabs words and dwells on them for days or weeks or maybe just hours. Just single seemingly random words that repeat and cycle through some unknown to me process.
Be blessed, laugh and be happy. You’re only crazy.
i can’t/don’t turn it off because i can’t control it.
i’m right with you, duff.
word for word.
this has enveloped me since i was a small child.
even as a driver by profession (until this nerve thing) i spent 10 driving hours a day writing, arranging, and rearranging music in my head, then performing it over and over again cerebrally so i could remember it long enough to scribe it.
and i complained about the other drivers!
what a lark!
i already know most people don’t get so i don’t bother to explain it, and i can’t hold it against them either.
my paternal side of the family gets it because most of them are the same way.
you can imagine the environment i grew up in, especially when you throw in copious amounts of alcohol, lsd, cocaine, mescaline, speed, led zeppelin, grateful dead, rush, and long hair.
with all this around me, no wonder i was a ‘troubled child’.
what would we do without this overwhelming spirit, however?
i would probably be dead, or one of those typical twenty/thirty-something douchebags with the baseball cap, ratty hair, listening to fallout boy and the strokes because of the ‘hipness factor’, have a big screen TV for watching CSI, sopranos and american idol, brag about sex life, and drive a subaru or prius.
really, which is worse?
(growing up with strong counter-culture and maverick sentiments, i’ve already made up my mind, thank you.)
as it is, i’m writing largely acoustic music (for somewhat logistical reasons lately), flipping back and forth on the TV between bluegrass, some fleetwood mac concert and a pink floyd documentary on a smallish tv waiting to go the chiropractor in a pick-up truck.
what has my beautiful life come to?
this is what the overwhelming spirit does to me, reduces me to a quivering, lifeless, agnostic (in the general definition), gelatinized mass on the floor, thumb in mouth, fetal position, begging for chocolate milk.
merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!
ABSOLUTELY!!!
It’s all I’ve ever done, even long before becoming a musician, and it’s what I do today. Even my day job is 100% related and I wouldn’t have my job, or have been able to get it, if it wasn’t for that unstoppable passion and knowledge I’ve picked up over the years.
The down side is that it’s very difficult to just sit and listen anymore. I pick apart the pieces so much it’s hard to hear the song in the recording.
What was THAT MOMENT?
Hearing “Good Times Bad Times” on the radio.
Well before that I was interested and had already started playing drums and doing recordings, but THAT MOMENT really kicked me in the butt. I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard it, and can still feel the feeling.
Small aside: Tom’s wisdom - marry a musician. 
These are great stories… We gotta invite Dr. Phil on here… 
Send him a link to the Board… or Something… I’ll bet a quater he can’t fix us…
Sorry guys… I just post what-I-Think…
Bill…
ME: Even if I knew I’d never make a dime at this, I’d still be doing it.
EX-WIFE: Oh, it’s a hobby.
That’s as close to word for word as I can remember. Wish I had taken it as well as you did, Duffman. Don’t remember what I said after that, but I know she didn’t understand my reaction. (I confess, being a jerk comes much too naturally to me at times.)
Passion for something is one of life’s great joys,weather it be music,art,food,etc
I am extremely proud to have had this as my life’s passion.
There are millions of pickers and clubbers out there,but how many of them do you know that made theyre living at it?Or even made any money at it?Not that it makes a difference to us that play,but I have found that it is the best comeback to people who feel that you are on some kind of a star trip because you happen to play an instrument in public.
To these people the idea of playing an instrument is so far fetched that they cant see the reason why you would.Its these same people that have had the same meaningless job for 30 years and think that its the only way to go about life.
I have had my heart ripped out by "loved ones"that believe the only reason I do this is because I seek attention this way.These types of people will never understand.
So when I can feel the presence of egos that want to degrade instead of seeing the joy this has brought to me,my favorite comeback is"hey,where else can I go and have a great time and make 100 to 250 in a day?"
This usually ends that conversation el pronto,because most of them have never made that kinda money doing anything,not even with overtime.
Dont get me wrong,I would play for free if thats the way it was,but being able to have made money at it in the meantime is always a proud point for me and usually silences the critics
Well I’m raising my hand. This isn’t a rant Duff, it’s the gospel truth!
Gave up on relatives “getting it” about 25 odd years ago. My wife gets it, so does my son and daughter, that’s about it.
I hear tunes in everything, the furnace running. . . .
Last night I let my wife read this thread. For good or bad.
Very, very quietly she said, "I’ve known this about you all along. Your passion for playing guitar is part of what I fell in love with. You’ve kept at it all these years, and I’ve kept you, knuckle-head. But I still hate it when I’m talking to you and your eyes glaze over. I know your not paying attention to me. Your listening to something in your head."
I really wanted to be funny and answer, “Yes Dear.” But…I figured she’s doing the cooking and I really dont want that “Special” mushroom gravy! If you get my drift…(Life Insurance)
She did agree, no one else in my family and most of our friends have no idea…
Duff
I think Jimi summed it up pretty good:
Well I am what I am, thank god
Some people just dont understand
Well help them god
Find yourself first
And then your tool
Find yourself first
Dont you be no fool