Need a giggle??

I did…

THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of ****.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it… like humor… but different.

:laugh:

Personal favorites in bold…

D

Great list.
My fav is = I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

Quote:

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


Like that one but stun? Forget that crap!! How about;

"How do I set a laser printer to VAPORIZE?"

I don't wanna "stun" them... waste of time... they'll just wake up dumber.

D
Quote:

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.


With all the time I spend on the phone with tech support, this has special meaning.

Being self-employed I have used most of those…whose going to fire me?

I didn’t notice my favorite: Apparently you have mistaken me for someone who gives a sh*t!

Theirs no giggling in nTrack

13, 26, 39.

Sez it all fer me! :cool:

Quote:

Theirs no giggling in nTrack




Is TOO!
:laugh: :agree:
Quote:

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

after losing my career, this one takes me to my special place.
:laugh:

My favourite:

Quote:

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Quote:

If I throw a stick, will you leave?


That's a line I would love to have used a time or two. Then again, probably good I didn't.