New original song

Based on true events

This song was something I wrote a couple o’ years ago as an unplugged voice and guitar piece. I recently decided to record it as more of a band piece. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

ksdb music page - click on “Leaving You Behind”

I like the music but the vocals could be a little stronger IMO. Also, the lyrics are alittle predictable (which doesn’t necessarily make the song bad or anything but is a common problem with lyrics).

Yes, there is a contrast in the sparseness of the lyrics and the complexity of the music. I didn’t mind the simplicity of the words, or the predictability of a rhyme or two, just that I thought it needed another verse and a strong bridge section to bring the story home. Having said that, though, I’ll add that these are on par with a lot of other lyrics in hit songs, IMHO. Certainly your instrumentation and recording techniques are excellent. Maybe the addition of a harmony vocal in selected areas would do a lot to dress this one up better. But definitely a good one to listen to as is.

Thanks for the comments. I’ve thought about harmony parts for the vocals, but haven’t come up with an arrangement I like yet. A stronger vocalist could probably sell the song better, with or without harmonies, but it’s still a very good suggestion. I would agree this song is sparse lyrically and I hadn’t thought about an extra verse. In some ways the absence of words fits the situation I was writing about, because it concerned a family member who suddenly estranged himself without any explanation. However, if I did add an extra verse, I think I would rearrange the instrumental sections to shorten them. Other thoughts are still welcome.

You’re right - it’s best to stay within the character’s POV. So, maybe just a little more verbage on the raw emotion of it all?

I think it sounds real good, KSDB. Maybe a little more emotional on the lyrics, though, but I have that problem myself. Great job…Redd