OK - have at it....

Much improved over the earlier version. :agree: If you could get Charlie Rich to record it (is he still around?), I guarantee my Mom would buy it. I can also relate to the story behind the song. Great job.

Whoa Poppa… much better! :agree:

Can you bring the bass up a tad? I’d like here it “thump” just a bit? I can hear that steel floating around now… great!

Quote:

Oh and by the way Tim - don’t you own every RealBand instrument made?


Dropping head in shame - Wouldja believe I STILL haven’t checked out all that new stuff I got from PG? Seems all I do musically these days is learn new stuff for church. We had a rehearsal tonight for a big women’s conference our band is doing the music for. We started on FIVE new songs tonight. A couple were easy enough but the rest are boogers…

I may have the lead steel… I honestly don’t know! :laugh:

D

PS I’m hearing a sweet steel lick ~1:56 in that little “space” there. Dunno… ?

You my friend are and should remain in a state or dis-grace for having that disk full of tools just sitting there. You really wanna be “that guy” that has stuff like that just laying around?

m mm mmmm…

I may have PLENTY of time to check it all out soon enough… but I HOPE not! I like eating and paying my bills and stuff… I’m just weird that way I guess. :p

D

I hear ya D…

New Mix taking all into consideration…
Lil more lead voc - wider bgv - mo bass.

Thanx guys.

Beautiful piece of writing Pops.

I can relate when I see how my daughters father lets her down time and time again, love can be too forgiving and leave the heart way to open.

Ange x

Thank you Ange. I think it’s well written too if I do say so myself. There was enough feeling involved for me personally to keep me at it, and not just lay it aside, and the challenge too of having one situation directing the expression of another was one I needed.

ah, good, now i can focus on the writing and emotional content instead of ‘musical proofreading’.

i must say, me likey longtime. the vocals do sound better to me this time around. and i love the way it’s written both lyrically and musically. you’ve got the songwriting package down, of course–beautiful and concise. I also like the move from the tonic to the tonic7 at the beginning of each half of the verse. it’s a great move, almost like a sigh. Same emotional effect as a sigh, as well, just drops the happiness level a smidge, which is great in this song.

Thanks JDET - 'preciate that from a writer like you.

Well I played it for my grand daughter just to see if there was any level of recognition for her. After the first listen she said, "Play it again Poppa."
Here’s her take.
++++++++++++++++++
Poppa, this needs to be about a girl like me who goes to the zoo and watches the monkeys. Then you could change it to “I wish monkeys wouldn’t throw poo.” She sang that line and laughed out loud every time it played in the song, followed by boisterous complaining and tickles from Poppa. Life is good.

My little buddy has already figured out that stories and songs are written. I didn’t figure that out until I was like 14.

The steel adds a lot Poppa!
:agree:

Vocal may be a tad bright, maybe warm it some. ???

Thanks Yaz - I’ll do that. I wanted to add an echo to the guitar on the intro anyway. Is it not overall bright or just the lead vocal?

Nah don’t think the song is too bright overall. Just the lead vocal, the rest sounds pretty doggone good!

Yep, just the lead vocal has a bright eq somewhere, maybe a sweep on it would find it. It’s a little harsh high end.
I think finding the freq. and notching a little would fix it.

Try around 6000 to 7000, I think it’s in that range.


What’s the instrument on the very tail end, Strings? What, which, where?

See what this does for ya Yaz. I like the intro guitar echo in there a lot - hope it’s not too loud of a repeat though.

Oh yes! Likes the echo!

Sounds a lot better dude!

(Tele + Whammy Pedal = Steel geetar!)

So it’s done! Woo hooo!

I just listened from a whole 'nother viewpoint. I could have written this years ago for the bass player that had his head screwed on backards. Had a gal that thought the world of him and was a great friend, but he just wouldn’t open his eyes to her.
This may be more of a commercial idea than I thought.

Quote: (Poppa Willis @ Mar. 06 2009, 12:13 PM)

So it's done! Woo hooo!

I just listened from a whole 'nother viewpoint. I could have written this years ago for the bass player that had his head screwed on backards. Had a gal that thought the world of him and was a great friend, but he just wouldn't open his eyes to her.
This may be more of a commercial idea than I thought.

Are you kiddin'? Of course this one is salable. Run it around your old Nashville buds. Somebody ought to pick it up.

I haven't listened to the latest mix. I will this evening though. I hate listening on these crappy speakers at work...

In case you ain't noticed, I'm a picky turd and don't tout very many tunes posted here as salable product. People may think I'm being an ass but I am more of a realist than an ass. I promise! :laugh:

D

PS Oh yeah... I also do not think my opinion means a whole lot but I think I do know a good song when I hear one...

all bass players have their head screwed on backwards, by the way. none of them can see the forest for the trees. i’ve thrown away ten times as much food as i’ve eaten, very metaphorically speaking.
i like the delay on the intro guitar. very tasteful.
the vocals seem to sit better, too.
i prefer not to think of the line about monkeys throwing poo, if it’s all the same to you. that’s something my little-un’s would run with forever. especially the little-un-est, who’s potty training.

I hear ya JDET - talk about practicing taking "every thought captive."

I have to lock that monkey stuff up quick. Except for ‘Boots’ of course. :slight_smile: