Ribbons & Lace Feedback Please

I used fruity loops for the music, added live vocals and recorded it all through N-track…kind of…“dark pop” I guess…love song with maybe a gothic influence (love song but lyrics sound…“dark”)
any feedback appreciated! Just paste this link in your browser and the song should pop up in mediaplayer or winamp or whatever:
http://cart.mixonic.com/servlet…B49E46C

OK since you said please, tee hee
Let’s put it this way, it didn’t make me annoyed.
And now adays that’s pretty much the sign of a success.
I thought the intro was alittle bit long, and uneventful. I might just have been the low-fi stream, but that first couple of notes just sounded cheezy.
I think it has movie soundtrack potential. But there’s something missing that i can’t queit nail.
I’m more of a guitar guy, so maybe that’s it, instead of the keyboard accent notes I’d repace it with feedback guitar, heavy distortion.–but that’s just me.
It sounded like there was a slight hi-hat trying to keep tempo toward the middle, but it’s so low in the mix it was hard to make out. Personally, I would have came in with a echoey strattle beat at that point–again just they way I would arrange it.
The sound quality was good for my standards, but I don’t have that high of standards.
Maybe try a backing vocal in a higher register, set it way in the back during a specific part to define a chorus, that’s about it.

Check out this song from the same genre I helped put together, for additional ideas for ya.



Flames

Keep shinin’

jerm

Thanks so much for the feedback. I actually wrote this song without guitar on purpose. I am a guitarist (been playing 17 years) but I am trying to learn to write songs with all parts and even sing it so I avoided the guitar so that I wouldn’t lean on it too much if that makes sense? There is a highhat going in the song and I can hear it but it has not been mastered on different systems so maybe I need to bring that up in the mix? I was thinking the same thing with the backup vocals, they need to be loudeer probably. A higher backup vocal might help it stand out even more, good idea. I tried to follow your link to check out the song but it took me to a dead page? Right click and try to download target, can’t find file error… anyway, thanks for the feedback it will help me to keep tweaking it. I;ll have to think of something to do to the intro to make it more interesting. Let me know about your song, would love to hear it and thanks again for the feedback…looks like your the only response I got!

I liked the track, a nice C, F, G feel. The intro and outro don’t quite work for me. The recording quality is good.

Guy

Ok fixed the link.
Looks like you got another responce!
Hang in there holms, some things take a while here.

keep shinin’

jerm

Thanks again for the input, listened to your song, liked it. I guess I’ll try to think of something to add to the intro and outro to make it more interesting. I may play around with a guitar track or something as well, maybe just a light lead panned way off innthe background furing th chorus…a far away feel, lots of reverb etc…
The backup vocals and synth I have going, I’ll get those raised in the mix as well. Thanks for the feedback I’m sure these ideas will help improve the song!