Scotland

sports

World Champs in elephant polo: Scotland!

:)

See, not only did we invent; Golf, Football (soccer), and baseball ('tis true, check it up :D), but we’re also the champs in the “Twats in hats on tap-dancing elephants competition”!

Ali (never been more proud of his nation) LOL

Where are their KILTS? They have to wear KILTS!
They wear um here at the Highland Games!(NC American Version)

Ali, I think you also invented modernity. Adam Smith, Hume, and all. Dunno whether that’s a matter for pride or not, however.

:D

Quote (Ali @ Dec. 09 2004,02:22)
See, not only did we invent; Golf, Football (soccer),

Bollocks!, Football was invented in England. Scotland have one of the worst Football teams in the World, so the scots have obviously taken up Elephant Polo with a German manager, isn't that Kenny Dalglish on the right.

Guy

Guy, are you trying to be offensive? LOL

Ach well, as for having the worst football team in the world, I can’t really argue at the moment. :(

But, as for inventing the game.

I’ll accept that Rugby, and its offshoots, including American Football, is an English Invention.

But Soccer?

Check your history.

Quoted from Edmund de Huddersfield (c. 850-920AD), who claimed to have translated the following from Roman texts:…

(the comments in brackets are mine).

And as the Imperial army advanced (battle of Preston Pans, circa 346AD), the paynted warryers (Picts) would take the heads of the enemy and kicke them back toward them.

Ande not only that, but the women-folk would erect a henge of wude (two uprights and a crossbar), and the bravest of the men would try to kicke the heads between them.

Whereupon the younge boyes of the tribe would cry out “Offside? No way! Ref, yir heid’s up yir arse!” and other pagan chants.

See! History! :p

And, bollox back at you Guy! LOL

Ali

Gee, and I thought Arnold Palmer invented golf…and Pele invented Football (Soccer) but the baseball thing? Sure enough, the first pro baseball team was the Glasgow Gassers. (or was that Faslane Farters) ??? I hear haggis can really get the gut rumblin!

TG

Well, as someone who’s always ready to take the piss out of the yanks, how can I complain when the tables are turned? LOL

(Anyway, how can I defend a people that invented golf? :D).

And that’s one of the pluses about the internet; no inhibitions; when I appear in real life behind someone who’s disparaging of me or mine, the place tends to go awfy quiet! LOL

But listen, before Scots bashing goes too far, let’s consider some other realities…

The Light Bulb: James Watt invented the light bulb. (Edison? Bollox! Look on a bulb and see who’s name is there! LOL).

TV: Hamish McFox!

The Industrial Revolution: Angus MacHinery! LOL

And last but not least, whisky. (Ok, the Irish invented that, but we were they ones who figured out that you could smoke the barley over peat, instead of putting half a pound of goat-shit enriched peat in every bottle! LOL

And to all you Americans, how could you have won the revolution if you hadn’t had the wonderful plan of unlimited pub hours, and it’s devastating effects on the Scots troops! lol

Ali

Yer wrong Ali, God invented whisky!..so the #### Irish wouldn’t rule the world!

LMAO

It’s MY Island!

McYaz

Quote (Ali @ Dec. 09 2004,22:39)
And that's one of the pluses about the internet; no inhibitions; when I appear in real life behind someone who's disparaging of me or mine, the place tends to go awfy quiet! LOL

I can believe that. One look at that green fur.... :)
Quote (Ali @ Dec. 09 2004,20:06)
Guy, are you trying to be offensive? LOL

Alistair

I was being offensive, because you’re wrong about the Scot’s inventing the modern Football game, and I was annoyed, being born and bred in Manchester we're pasionate about our Football.

If we’re going to go back to history lessons, since the beginning of time, man has preoccupied himself by kicking or hitting a round object, propelling it towards some predetermined destination and making this into a game, so the argument can be made that no one country actually invented any of these ball games. The facts about the modern game are that the modern version of football originated in England, just like the modern version of Golf originated in Scotland.

Obviously since the 4th July 1776 everything else in the world has been invented by the Americans, mainly by Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Abraham Lincoln, the Wright Brothers and Mickey Mouse, this includes the American (English) Language.

Guy

I thought football was invented when those silly fellows stole Jeremy Bentham’s head for a few kicks on the grass. ???

I was being offensive, because you’re wrong about the Scot’s inventing the modern Football game, and I was annoyed, being born and bred in Manchester we're pasionate about our Football.


No Guy, you were trying to be offensive, it takes a lot more than that to offend me. :D

As for MUFC, I 'spect I have you beat.

My most abiding memory, must have been around '71, an off-season friendly tour by MUFC of Austria and Switzerland, and me and some mates hitched around Europe following them, Klagenfurt, Gratz, Zurich, and I think we got kicked out of every city! LOL

We used to hang about the training grounds, and on one occasion, (Zurich I think it was), they let us on the field to kick the ball around with the team, Dennis Law, George Best, oh god, I can't remember them all.

I think I still have pictures somewhere, must look them up.

So, tell me about MU! :D

And, no, my history lesson was not intended to be serious, look at it carefully again if you've any doubts. :)

And yes, I agree the FA formulated today's game. But, don't take anything seriously on this forum, especially not the things I write!

Ali

I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned the noble sport of Tossing the Caber. Or was it Tossing the Haggis? - I can never remember. :laugh:

John, you toss your caber all you want, but, that really ought to be a pivate thing, ok? ???

Ali

OMG…Kilts were invented by the Angleesh (English)

Quote (Ali @ Dec. 11 2004,18:56)
We used to hang about the training grounds, and on one occasion, (Zurich I think it was), they let us on the field to kick the ball around with the team, Dennis Law, George Best, oh god, I can't remember them all.

Alistair

I’m very impressed, being on the pitch with one of the greatest teams ever must have been a great occasion, ahh those were the days, when footballers went out drinking every night (Reports are that Bryan Robson’s West Brom still do). I still get to the occasional Man U game, recently went a whole season when I bought a friend's season ticket for the year, still can’t get into that seating thing, preferred getting crushed into the barriers, spilling your pint from them plastic glasses.

Ever since the team got very commercially popular in 1990s the real local supporters, the "Salford lads" can't even get tickets, so the singing in the Stretford End has virtually gone. Now, Its all about “how much money can we make” and the new Yuppie supporters are just not funny enough to create a decent song, but they are well behaved, so it’s better for a family day out.

Guy

Yeah, I know how it is Guy, even in the late 60’s, early 70’s, the mob I travelled with were Londoners, East End Skins mostly. But, we were fanatics, and followed them everywhere. And to be honest, there seemed to be as many Londoners/Scots among the fans as Mancunians. And you must admit, that the Scots were a significant part of the team too! :)

But then it all started to become very commercial, being a “red” became fashionable, and when they started changing their strip every two weeks, I just got sick of the whole thing.

But you’re right, having a kick around with them was something I’ll never forget.

George Best was past his peak by then, starting to put on weight and drinking too much, and Dennis Law was showing his years, but to me, he was still GOD! LOL

Ali

Yaz, the kilt, or kiltoris to give it it’s full name, was invented by a Pict, Angus MacGoldstein (Ok, now you know where the lost tribe ended up. :laugh:).

During the Roman/Pictish wars, the Picts for many years were always victorious. This was due to the fact that the Roman sword was 20" long, and the Pictish sword was 36" long. (Ain’t mathematics wonderful? :D).

Now, the picts alway fought naked, (well, apart from some blue paint and the daintiest little scrunchies you ever saw! LOL).

So, before long, the legionaries battle cry changed from, “All you can eat pizza” to, “Kicka da bastards in the linguine”.

Hence the kilt. Not for warmth, nor fashion, just to blur the target zone. :laugh:

Ali