in a silly sort of way
Hey - I saw that & almost posted it but you beat me to it.
What this poor man never thought of giving the seat a swipe with some tissue before plopping his big booty on it? Poor guy… but not for long! HD will pay him off to shut him up.
TG – cleans the seat off everytime, everywhere…
what’s up with super glue??
Lover really stuck
it to him - twice
By JOSE MARTINEZ
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
A Pennsylvania man yesterday testified that an ex-lover really stuck it to him - using Super glue to attach his penis to his belly and then sealing his rear end shut.
Before a Westmoreland County jury, Kenneth Slaby detailed the shock of waking up with a misplaced member and a burning sensation in his nether regions.
“I woke up in extreme pain,” he said. “My whole groin area was on fire.“
The 58-year-old grandpa pressed charges against ex-flame Gail O’Toole after she manhandled his manhood during their May 2000 encounter.
O’Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and has already served six months’ probation.
Now Slaby is looking to score $30,000 in a civil suit that accuses O’Toole, 56, of “outrageous and inhumane” acts after a night of dancing.
An attorney for O’Toole said Slaby consented to having his genitals glued and that he suffered no permanent damage.
“This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom,” said attorney Chuck Evans.
But Slaby contends O’Toole was dishing out some painful payback for their earlier breakup. The couple dated for 10 months in 1999.
He said O’Toole waited until he was asleep to put her Super glue scheme to work. He said she smeared gobs of the sticky substance onto his penis and backside, and applied nail polish to his hair.
Slaby said he woke up to a horrifying discovery - and a screeching woman.
”‘I’m tired of your lies,’” Slaby said O’Toole screamed at him. "The veins were popping out of her neck."
Stuck without a ride home, Slaby said he walked a mile to a convenience store to call 911. He then had to wait four hours at a local hospital before medical personnel could put his penis back in its proper position.
But at least Slaby got off a lot easier than John Bobbitt, whose penis famously was hacked off by his wife in 1993 as he dozed.
Originally published on November 4, 2005
How in the world do you sleep through that?
As for wiping the seat… I am an ass gasket kinda man. Either use the ass gaskets provided or fabricate my own.
|Quote (Bubbagump @ Nov. 04 2005,12:40)|
|How in the world do you sleep through that?|
my thoughts exactly...
Easy…a 5th of Jack and some folks can sleep through anything.
ok…how does one drink a 5th of Jack??
|Quote (Bubbagump @ Nov. 04 2005,12:40)|
|As for wiping the seat... I am an ass gasket kinda man. Either use the ass gaskets provided or fabricate my own.|
Of course... after a good wipe down...
TG -- double paranoid of toilet seat nasties... YUCK!
PS LOL!! Ass gasket... ROFL!! Never heard that one...
|Quote (clark_griswold @ Nov. 04 2005,14:57)|
|ok...how does one drink a 5th of Jack??|
My right hand man here at the office did a 5th of the Captian in about an hour a week or so ago. Needless to say, he was sick for the following week.
Ass gasket, well, that's what it is.
|Quote (Bubbagump @ Nov. 04 2005,15:19)|
|My right hand man here at the office did a 5th of the Captian in about an hour a week or so ago. Needless to say, he was sick for the following week.|
Caint you boys change the subject?
For seven years ah changed little Michael’s diaper and wiped his ass.
An for the first four years, ah never even realized ah wus doin the wrong end.
I don’t think that is the kind of smear he is usually referring to…
Who’s up for some white wine?
Make mine a nice Riesling please. Thanks. Jack? Yuck… tastes like poop to me.
Jack and Gatorade
(Yes, it’s true - just ask Sean, or any other former membr of our band.)
|Quote (phoo @ Nov. 04 2005,17:45)|
|Jack and Gatorade|
(Yes, it's true - just ask Sean, or any other former membr of our band.)
That just sounds plain NASTY!
|Quote (gtr4him @ Nov. 04 2005,17:07)|
|Make mine a nice Riesling please. Thanks. Jack? Yuck... tastes like poop to me.|
You taste poop?
Well… I get this REALLY rancid taste in my mouth while reading some posts on here… I figure it’s similar.