.Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

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I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

:D

You do know, however, that there are in fact several separate philosophical arguments that are collectively referred to as ID? My intro phil class this semester will be spending 3 weeks on the arguments and related ones. If you’d like, Mike, I’d be happy to mail you the readings. Great epistemological, political, and ethical questions all wrapped up together in one big seriously misunderstood and misrepresented mess.

Mind you, it ain’t science, adn the Kansas board is a pack of morons for even considering it such. But it’s fun philosophy.

Thanks but nah - I don’t think I could stomach it :O

What utter drivel. :(

Spaghetti does not have the aerodynamic characteristics to sustain flight.

Wind tunnel tests have demonstrated that even angled linguine starts to show prohibitive surface turbulence and “skin shedding” at speeds not much greater than 20 knots.

In consequence, this particular ID theory can safely be consigned to the rubbish bin. :)

Ali

Even wet spagetti?

Seriously, Mike, you can stomach it. one cannot judge legitimately without a reasonably deep understanding of the arguments. :)

Can you imagine flapping wings made from dry spaghetti? :D

But seriously, before Italy went through its “agonising reappraisal” in WWII; in conjunction with Germany’s research into ramjets and rockets, Italy too was exploring the technology.

Using cannelloni.

Sadly however, Italy changed sides before anything conclusive could be discovered. (Not only that, but the olives kept on jamming up the works. :()

They did however make some important progress into troop carrying airborne pizza.

Interestingly enough, many of the early reported UFO sightings stem from that very period. (See George Adamski’s; " I was kidnapped by Venusians", “I was anally probed by Martians”, and "How did that anchovy get there? :("

LoL !