Mission Accomplished

Mission Accomplished


And exactly what mission was that, anyway?

The dumb thing is that most of the wealthy corporate types realize that cutting off illegal imigrants would be a serious blow to our economy, and really don’t want it. Bush is sort of stuck on this one.

Not to mention all the taxes they pay and are scared to death to file a return and get a refund on as they have stolen SS#s. The stats show that were they to become legal and pay like regular citizens, it would actually cost the US more as they would claim tax refunds/deductions and have easier access to social programs. It is cheaper for the tax payers as a whole to keep them in an illegal status. Or the other side of the coin is expel them all and lose all those low wage employees. A good analogy I heard was the war on drugs compared to immigration. The problem does not go away by limiting the supply. People just figure out new and inventive ways to smuggle the stuff in. The real fix is to reduce the demand. So long as the demand for $5/hr tree trimmers and burger flippers exist, people will find a way to get here.


And exactly what mission was that, anyway?

The ongoing mission to end terrorism from outside our society and to manufacture it from within silly!


mission: show up, don’t say anything but scripted platitudes. get a dune buggy ride (or a helicopter>carrier ride.) and exclaim"Mission Accomplished".

:p :p


Quote (cruiser @ May 19 2006,17:53)
…get a dune buggy ride (or a helicopter>carrier ride.) and…

Boy, did YOU remind me of something…

This is a true story - I’ll leave out the names but anyone who worked for the Toronto Police in 1985 would know exactly who was involved.

Pope John Paul II (or, as I like to call him, J2P2) came to Toronto for a visit in 1985 and security was hyped up to the max - every division had to send officers downtown to assist with the security detail and the divisions ran on skeleton crews for the duration.

The officer in charge of the security detail was a short wee Scots Inspector who shall remain nameless.

Anyway, two coppers in 51 Division were driving around with nothing to do (because everyone was downtown for the Pope’s parade) and they got bored (NB. there is nothing more dangerous than bored cops. I know whereof I speak.) So the driver in the 51 Division car picks up the handheld radio (we called them ‘mitres’ in those days) and his partner begins pounding rhythmically on his own chest like Tarzan on speed. The driver keys the mic and says to the Dispatcher: "Chopper 5…Chopper 5… Radio…

Now, the Dispatcher knows that we don’t have a helicopter, but she’s a good sport and plays along…

“Go ahead Chopper 5…”

"Chopper 5…just to let you know that we’ve been assigned to the security detail for the Pope’s visit and we’ll be monitoring this band…"

Dispatcher: "Ten four, Chopper 5."

Nothing - a 30 second laugh for all concerned - not strictly according to Hoyle but no one has been hurt, right?

Then the aforementioned short wee Scots Inspector, who has also been monitoring that band, gets on his mitre: "Inspector 5…Inspector 5 to Chopper 5…"

The guys in the cruiser figure what the heck so the passenger pounds on his chest again while the driver responds: “Chopper 5…Go ahead, Inspector 5…”

“Inspector 5…What’s your 20, Chopper 5?”

“Chopper 5… we’re just south of the lakeshore remaining in readiness, Inspector 5. What’s your pleasure?”

“Inspector 5… Can you proceed to the Island airport for a passenger pick-up?”

(Pause, while he talks to his partner) "Chopper 5…Ten-Four Inspector 5… will rendezvous at Island Airport in 15 minutes."

So the Inspector jumps in his unmarked car and makes his way down to the foot of Bay St. and jumps on a ferry to the Island Airport - he wants a ride in the helicopter. Half an hour goes by and, not surprisingly, no helicopter shows up. The two coppers who pulled the prank figure it’s all over but then they hear: "Inspector 5 to Chopper 5…"

More chest pounding. “Chopper 5…go ahead Inspector 5…”

“Inspector 5… I’m at the rendezvous. What’s your ETA?”

(Pause, while he talks to his partner.) Chopper 5… we couldn’t get clearance to land at the Island airport… suggest you re-route to Toronto International and we will rendezvous there…"

Now the Staff Sergeant at 52 Division has been listening to this whole thing and he knows we don’t have a helicopter - so he jumps in his car and heads down to the docks to meet with the Inspector to fill him in that someone is pulling his leg.

The Inspector goes ballistic - jumps on the radio and just reams everybody. He launches an investigation and eventually brings the two coppers up on charges for misuse of police equipment. He tries to nail the Dispatcher, too - for not stopping the prank - but she uses a perfect defence: “I didn’t think we had a helicopter but when the Inspector started talking to them I figured, well he must know - he’s an Inspector…” So she gets off the charges.

It ended up the two coppers each took a three-day rip. I was friendly with one of them; he told me it was worth every penny.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That’s hilarious bill!

Great story BillClarke :D

But Bush and Butch Janet have it all wrong. Where we really need a fence is along the Colorado River to keep all those a’holes from California out. :laugh:

Seriously, air pollution and property prices are now as bad as the west coast. :(

It wouldn’t hurt to put up a fence along the north and the east either…to keep out the Easterners, Midwesterners and Frostbacks.

Then it might be like I remember it. Pretty and Peaceful.


That was a great story Bill. If that story had happened here in the present times the news media would have picked up the story. After the spin, the helicopter would have been reported shot down by unknown terrorists aided by Michael Moore. The 'copter wreckage would have been allegedly carted off to area 51. Money would have been doled out to Haliburton for civil defense consultation. The officers would have been given Freedom Medals for being alert to the terrorists. Conspiracy theorys would permeate the blogosphere. Bush would give another speech and we would be at war with Tahiti. One platoon would be called up and be sent via canoe and armed with ACM’s (Anti Coconut Munitions). They would be there 40 years. When word got out…Enlistment would go up. They would be sent to Iran indefinitely. Karl may be reading this now!




Then it might be like I remember it. Pretty and Peaceful.

Yessir! And I don’t rightly recall it being so hot in May either.

But just another half hour then it’s happy hour and 75 cent longnecks at the Stardust Lounge. :D

“Pretty and peaceful” no longer describes anywhere anymore.

Quote (TomS @ May 19 2006,20:01)
"Pretty and peaceful" no longer describes anywhere anymore.

Or "Anyone" anywhere! :p