PLEASE CRITIQUE MY SONG

Drummerbones · September 13, 2005, 5:34pm

This isn’t finished yet, but I’d like some input. Thanks

http://www.talkingrockranchks.com/songpage

Beefy_Steve · September 13, 2005, 5:44pm

Eyup!

What effect were you trying to achieve?
Sounds like Nickelback.
Vocals & guitar a bit too prominent in the mix IMO
Otherwise nice & raunchy sound. I like it.
Oh, by the way, the word is “beaten”

Steve

Drummerbones · September 13, 2005, 5:52pm

I wasn’t really trying to achieve any specific effect. I wrote it and then recorded it and that’s what I got. Eyup, I have a bit of a drawl to my vocals. That’s just how I sing. I’m not positive that being raunchy is a compliment, but I guess I’ll take it!

Beefy_Steve · September 13, 2005, 6:17pm

Eyup!

No , the comment was not about the way you sing, I thought the music was raunchy, as in raw and powerful.

Steve

Drummerbones · September 13, 2005, 11:34pm

Right on. Thanks

jeromee · September 14, 2005, 2:28am

Hey DB
The sounds are really full. I’m here in Va (born&raised) and I know all about draaawwww

Anyway I would like to hear the vocals a little dryer, maybe more in your face, less room sound and distant. You have some good vocals and I think you should showcase them a little more :;): Singing closer to the mic on the softer parts and working the mic a bit can be really effective, back off on the louder chorus parts. You can really keep it in key Good job.
J

EmmttGlnn2002 · September 19, 2005, 3:35pm

Hey Drummerbones.

Nice clean sound. Controlled instrument performance. The mix is even, although I strained to determine if I heard keyboards - piano, specifically, coming out of the right - or whether it was just residual guitar work.

You truly have a very good tenor voice with quite a range. Adding some backing vocals would really dress this song up.

As for composition, you have incorporated some interesting combinations of chords, which makes the song pleasing to listen to.

But it is in the area of composition that I have one criticism. The melody line in the chorus is fairly repetitive and, even with the excellent musical backing, some variation - either in the melody itself or in your delivery - might make the chorus seem less simplistic and repetitive. You certainly have a brilliant voice and I think you could do some really interesting things with it during the chorus.

But my criticism may be premature. It would be nice if you pointed me to another song, perhaps. I can’t really, in good conscience anyway, base my opinion about the writing based on one song that you apparently “wrote and recorded” one day.

Nevertheless, DB, I admire your voice. Please don’t take up smoking!

Emmett

Drummerbones · September 20, 2005, 5:37pm

Emmett

Thanks for the kind words. I wrote this song about a year ago, but I finally had a Saturday to kill, so I knocked out what you’ve heard so far in one afternoon. The drums were one take, as were the acoustic & electric guitar. The vocals are a comp. of 3 takes, and I’m still not very happy with it yet. I’d have to agree with you about the chorus. The song as it is now is…well…it’s just missing something. With the wide variance in the vocal lines (stair-stepping vocals) it’s been hard (if not nearly impossible) for me to nail down an appropriate harmony part. I’ve considered a 3-part “Beach Boys” type harmony doing somes “ah’s” during the chorus (believe me, it’s not nearly as cheesy as it sounds when I explain it!) but I haven’t decided yet. OR, I need to spice up the chorus on the lead vocal line. OR maybe both. It’s still a work in progress and your input is much appreciated.
I’ve got some lead guitar parts layed down that I haven’t posted a link with yet, and the harmonies will be next. By the way, that’s is a piano with some serious delay put way back in the mix panned to the right. Nice ear.

DB

system · September 21, 2005, 1:46am

I enjoyed it, and listened to it twice. What type of mic did you use, and how did you run the mic into the computer?

Drummerbones · September 21, 2005, 12:21pm

I used a Studio Projects B1 straight into a Joe Meek 3Q pre using very little EQ, into a Behringer Composer Pro to keep the dynamics under control, then into my M-Audio Delta 1010LT sound card via a patch bay.

Sloom · September 25, 2005, 10:01pm

Nice song, good execution. Great, warm, lush guitar sound. I have always loved good electric rhythm guitars. The band is good, and yes you do have a pleasant, somewhat arresting voice. And now, for my critique, which is only mine:

Your vox in the chorus do not come off as particularly powerful, esp. as you tail off at the end of the phrases in that part of the tune. It may be your mic approach (get ‘on it’ there!), but I notice the strength doesn’t carry in your delivery- maybe you’re ‘reaching’ for it there. Know what I mean?

Also the hi-hats are a bit sizzly, and (maybe that’s why) slightly overbearing. Drums in general could maybe use a little more ‘body’?

I don’t hear very prominent bass- maybe it’s the compression (mp3), or my speakers… but it’s fine. Maybe you meant it, and it’s good- that fine, lush guitar sound is doing it for me.

So there is my .02 cents. And I’m no engineer, I just hear what I hear. I enjoyed the listen, thanks.

system · June 10, 2007, 8:15pm

system · June 11, 2007, 10:36pm

system · June 14, 2007, 1:08am

system · June 18, 2007, 12:41am

system · June 18, 2007, 1:31am

system · June 18, 2007, 11:53am

system · June 18, 2007, 10:32pm

system · June 20, 2007, 3:35am