Police murder exorcist

Well…yes, and those that can’t spell…and we all know who THEY are. :)

Maybe the little angels have all the angles…

Bot, at least with my grandkids I can say,
“OK Time to go home, c’mon, move it, no you can’t take my Les Paul home, c,mon, I love you too, no I don’t want a kiss you’ve been eating ice cream, get outta here, bye bye!”

The angels angles,

Dad can I go over to Bobby’s house Mom said it was ok with her if it was ok with you.

The actual conversation with Mom went, Can I go over to Bobby’s house?
Mom - Hmm, I don’t know, you had better ask your Dad.

Breaking News!

And this, I swear, is absolutely true.

I just went to make myself a pot of tea, and found the demon child in the process of consuming the contents of the cat litter tray.

(Mind you, having seen examples of his mother’s cooking, I can’t really blame him.)

But anyway, I informed his mother who started screaming " How can he eat that stuff! What can I do!"

I offered her a bottle of tomato ketchup, but she dramatically failed to appreciate my offer.

So, again, I swear that this has just happened. So Tom, Toke, please post your addresses as soon as possible. :(


Mother of demon child is now screaming at its father, who is sitting in front of his computer playing Everquest (his full time occupation for 18 hours per diem).

Said father is wearing headphones, and as usual, hears nothing.

Grandmother (my girlfriend) is vacuuming up the remaining (and presumably not-yet-ripe) contents of cat tray that is scattered over a wide area.

I have given up trying to mix my latest song, even wearing my Sennheisers the ambient noise level is far too high.

Oh! It seems mother and grandmother have now decided to take demon child to emergency room, and that means, thank god, the rest of the children will go too!

Peace for a few hours!!! :)

Hahaha - this is highly entertaining. Keep it up :laugh: :D :laugh:

(spambot @ Jul. 31 2007,14:01)
(Mind you, having seen examples of his mother's cooking, I can't really blame him.)

LOL, too much! :laugh:

HE: "This stuff tastes like CRAP!"
SHE: “Well, it should…”

Well, just for you Teryeah, they have just left.

All that remain in the house are the zombie father, me, and two very self satisfied cats.

The silence is almost painful. All I can hear is the very gentle hum of the PC PSU, the distant soughing of the wind in the trees, and nothing else!

I can’t decide whether to carry on mixing, or just sit here and bask in the silence. :D


I offered her a bottle of tomato ketchup, but she dramatically failed to appreciate my offer.

Perhaps they prefer Grey Poop-on? :D

D - Ba-doomp-chiiii…

Carry on, Spam, carry on.

I won’t post my address, but you can find me easily enough in the small town of Flint, MI. Just ask at the community college there.

Sounds like the kids have real winners for parents there. Hope it all works out for them. And you.

Kitty litter, fortunately, is non-toxic. I think. Dunno about cat poop, although the dog used to eat them like they were doggie treats.

Anyway, my kids are the troubled ones in our neighborhood. And I’m a good parent. :(

What is Everquest?

I know about Everclear…

Yeah, Everquest is exactly the same thing Tom.

It numbs the body, stupefies the brain, makes all women into objects of absolute beauty, and generally provides an alternative for those who don’t want to deal with reality. :)


Read this part especially…


[edit] Addiction

The game is renowned and berated (by some [psychologist]s specializing in [computer addiction]) for its addictive qualities. Many refer to it half-jokingly as “NeverRest” and “EverCrack” (a reference to crack cocaine). EQ is very time-consuming for many people, and there have been some well-publicized suicides of EverQuest users, such as that of Shawn Woolley. Relationships broken because of obsessive playing resulted in the creation of an online support group called EverQuest Widows and sites like GamerWidow.com. An infamous rant titled “EQ: What You Really Get From An Online Game” appeared on Slashdot in 2002 , and brought this issue of EverQuest addiction to the forefront of many message boards across the Internet.[3]

I feel rather lucky that I don’t have that kind of addictive personality - although I find it hard to imagine how someone could get addicted to it…I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about crappy old vintage recording equipment or something like that. Or sex, even.

Yeah well, it’s hard to imagine how people can listen to country music, but millions do apparently. :(

Anyway, back to exorcism. :D

All in all Tom, I don’t believe in new fangled unproven ideas, I prefer to stick to the tried and tested methods.

Steve’s got it right, there’s nothing like a good witch burning or a violent exorcism to put things right.

These acts not only solve the problems, but they provide both fun and edification for all the family, all the community.

If you like, consider it logically:

Person A is acting abnormally and/or antisocially.

Person A may therefore be possessed by demons, or, just “psychologically disturbed”.

If you give Person A psychiatric help, then that may or may not help (usually not) if the problem has a psychiatric cause; but it won’t help at all if they are actually possessed by demons.

However, if you burn them at the stake, then that is not only guaranteed to remove any demons, but it’s also guaranteed to remove any psychological problems they might have had.

So, as you can see, burning at the stake is optimum strategy from a games theory point of view, it’s the least expensive in terms of cost, and it’s the most fun.

It’s the only sane thing to do, QED. :)

Everclear and kitty litter go together quite well I hear… The grain alcohol blending with the minty aroma and cat poop… mmm… mmm… Good stuff. Ask any 2-5 year old! :p


Everquest… stupid, time wasting computer game… Reminds me of my sisters second husband. Dude was a policeman (imagine that…) and during his off duty hours spent every waking moment playing some stupid Dungeons and Dragons type game on the computer. If he was awake and on sick days/vacation or just off duty, he had his nose stuck in that thing. House falling down around my sister and their kids, grass a foot tall or taller, oil change? What oil change? He was a totally useless excuse for a sack of flesh as has ever been born. My brother and I often contemplated drugging him, dragging him off into the woods and shoving his PC and monitor up his backside. Alas, my sister wised up and divorced his sorry butt before my brother and I could locate some ether to soak a rag with…

sigh What coulda been… :D



Alas, my sister wised up and divorced his sorry butt before my brother and I could locate some ether to soak a rag with…

Ether! The human equivalent of charcoal lighter fluid!

See, I told you a good burning is by far the best thing! :D

But, no doubt some will complain how witch burning is contributing to global warming, how the demon possessed are becoming an endangered species and need urgent conservation measures, or how baby farms are destroying the natural ecological balance.

Well, my answer to those critics is…there’s plenty more lighter fluid where that came from! :laugh:

The clown mentioned above will probably save us the effort and do himself in. Several years ago while preparing to clean his service weapon, a Colt Combat Commander .45 caliber automatic, he was lecturing his boys on firearm safety and proceeded to shoot himself through the left palm! My sister was telling us about the event, you know crying, all in tears and generally distraught… I told her he was a lousy shot. He should learn to aim higher. Go for the head shot. :D

D - not always that cruel… you just have to know the guy…

Spambot, you are approaching this all wrong. You are faced with an opportunity, not a problem. Heck, you could write up a little novella describing the last few days leading up to the cat litter incident, and it would sell a bizillion copies. Everybody loves surrealism when it is real…err I mean when when reality seems surreal. Oh heck you know what I mean. Anyway, after you get megabucks for the novella, you could give the demon possessed kids lots of money and they could become lifelong Republicans, and they wouldn’t even stand out in a crowd. See? Opportunity not problem.