The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
We always hear ‘the rules’
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note… These are all numbered ‘1’
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl… If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for…
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour.
Pumpkin is also a fruit We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
football or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
(copied from a recieved email)
It sounds to me like you’re on the “MatT”… AND You might be trying to defend yourself… 
Bill…
When you are unsure or in doubt before you ask any questions, PLEASE REFER TO RULE #1.
I don’t recall who said this, but it’s always stuck with me…
“Wise men are guided by the rules, but only an idiot obeys them”.
I don't recall who said this, but it's always stuck with me.......
"Wise men are guided by the rules, but only an idiot obeys them".
Yeah my dad used to say it to me when I was young - "Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools." I didn't know who it was till just now - surprised to find it was Douglas Bader.
Oh, and thanks for the rules
surprised to find it was Douglas Bader.
Thanks Mark, I always wondered who came up with that gem.
Anyway, that's now two things I know about Douglas Bader; the other being that he was the inspiration for the development of the G-suit for fighter pilots.
He always credited the fact that he was so successful was that he never suffered from blackouts in high-G turns. Blackouts are caused by the blood rushing into the legs, and as he didn't have any legs............
Hi Gents:
I used that quote in some mail-reply I wrote this morning…
Thank you for the line, EZee…
and the Owner of the words, Mark A… Maybe, one day soon, I’ll discover the Path to this quandary…
This so happens to be one of the most serious matters I’ve been dealing with in my lifetime…
The path is no clearer today than it has been when I first discovered I needed to address sense my Mom Passed away…
The only two people (my Uncle in MA. and my Mom) I could hope to call upon, to help me come to a render, in this matter, is now not with us…
The “Path” to resolve this matter may be quite clear to someone who is not directly involved may be perfectly clear…
However, that’s not so, to me, At-the-Moment…
I wake up every morning to find, another day as passed…[/I]
Bill…
If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
I think I may have this particular one made into a tattoo across my forehead.
- Do not ask us “Which shoes look best with this outfit?” We don’t know nor do we CARE. Besides, you ALWAYS pick the opposite.
The only two people (my Uncle in MA. and my Mom) I could hope to call upon, to help me come to a render, in this matter, is now not with us..
Therefore Bill, the answer rests with you; just as it's always been, and just as it always will be.
But you're wrong to suppose that no-one else can advise; the world is full of people offering free advice, and usually you get what you pay for.
But, among the crap, there sometimes lie bits of insight, bits of thoughts that are worth thinking about.
So lay it down on us bro'! My past experience tells me that you'll find as good a collection of crap on here as anywhere, but perhaps, just perhaps, you'll find something more too.
Yep. what Ezee said. Don’t carry the burden on your own. Sometimes just sharing it can help even if it doesn’t directly lead to a solution.
I know we’re all strangers in one sense and friends in another. Feel free to PM if you want to keep things private.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as MUSIC, baseball, football or golf.
A'MEN BRO!
Thank you Gents for the replies…
The quote seems to have slowed down the advance of the hounds, temporarily…
But
the path is not clear, to say-the-least…
Waking up in the mornings with a clear conscience is an exercise that’s tough to duplicate.
It would be nice if sweeping things under the carpet would make it go away…
Bill…
Darn Bill, are you ok?
I’m not sure what your feelin guilty about but remember those free’love days bank in the late 60’s?
Little did I known that half the girls where free lovin it, but to the other half of the ladies, it was a big test for the guys!
Ya can’t feel to guilty about being tricked like that go back to sleep!
I’m the only male that remains in my family’s generation(s)… including all the Legal Counsel in this country…
Two Estates are being rendered simultaneously…
this action may not be precedence setting…
BUT…
it is to me…
I treat the wording of Last Wills and Testaments of someone who has gone before us as serious statements… that should be executed exactly-as-written… and shouldn’t be contested, by the recipients, without consequences…
to those who remain…
What does the wikipedia have to say about contesting Wills 
?
Could this, in fact, help me in reaching a clear conscience ?
Bill…
p.s.
OoHh…
If only I could return to the '60’s and do it all over again…
I’m sure I would Live IT, exactly the-same-way…
I think…
Waking up in the mornings with a clear conscience is an exercise that's tough to duplicate.
Bll, for some of us, just waking up in the morning still alive is a major achievement!
But like Mark said, talk to us, give us the details. You'll probably get nothing worthwhile in return, but what the hell, you might!
But anyway, first thought:
Are the thoughts of someone who died yesterday more valid that those of someone who is living, and knows, today?
Bill you can find a lawyer that has reasonable rates and who will guide you through the process. In your case process’s. I wouldn’t try executing those wills on your own. It can be a time consuming and tedious task.
Hang in there, Bill, You’re a good guy.